Flower Talk
by scottthedisaster
Summary: Flower Shop AU. Kanaya and Karkat run a greenhouse, and a bookstore opens next door, owned by Rose and Dave. Updates every 2 weeks (Tuesday?)- sorry for delays or shortened chapters, and please review. -sorry y'all indefinite hiatus for now-
1. Chapter 1

"HEY THERE'S A SHIPMENT IN. I THINK IT'S FROM THE SEED WHOLESALE," Karkat called out to the greenhouse as he walked in. It was before hours, so luckily no customers were around to get offended by his... dulcet tones. He was her best friend, but Kanaya usually tried to keep him occupied with non-sales tasks while they were open, for the sake of the store. Karkat was a hot-tempered man whose temperament and pallor were both ill-suited to working in a greenhouse, but he appeared to enjoy (tolerate, in his words) employment at Kanaya's place. "Alright, Just Let Me Finish," she replied in his general direction. Kanaya was pruning a morning-glory vine before it could reach the roof, and was perched precariously on the top of a ladder.

"There, I'm Done." Kanaya climbed down and folded up the ladder against the wall, then turned to face Karkat. "There Was A Package?"

"HERE. SEEMS A LITTLE HEAVY FOR SEEDS, THOUGH." He placed the box on the ground, and stretched, muttering "FUCK" at his sore muscles. Kanaya used the pruning shears she was still holding to slice open the packing tape.

"You Were Correct. It's Not Seeds, It's Books," Kanaya announced, reaching into the box to reveal a hardcover romance. "WAIT, CHECK THE MAILING ADDRESS. AND GIVE ME THAT," Karkat replied, eyeing the book. She tossed the book to him and flipped the package to see the labeling.

"Says It's For 413 Appletree. Next Door, I Think."

"THEY'RE A BOOKSTORE- JUST MOVED IN," Karkat supplied, his dark haired head already several pages into the novel. "We Can Go Welcome Them To The Neighborhood, Then. And Return Their Books While We're At It," Kanaya concluded, resealing the box.

"BUT WE'RE WORKING," Karkat protested, breaking his engrossment. "No We Are Not, We Open At Ten And It Is Now Nine." Kanaya stared him down with a look that brokered no argument. "FIIINE," he groaned like a petulant child. Kanaya smiled at her small victory, walking over to where she kept pre-cut flowers in water. _Why Not Greet The Neighbors With Flowers?_ Yellow carnations for cheer, stephanotis for luck, limonium for success. Kanaya liked sending messages in bouquets, even if no one really understood them but her.

"HURRY THE FUCK UP," Karkat urged, carrying the box in his arms. The book he was reading, she noticed, was open and upside down on the top of the box.

"Alright," she conceded, wrapping the bottom of the bouquet. Kanaya checked her reflection briefly in the mirror behind her desk- her dark reflection looked back, not a single black strand out of place in her angular pixie. Her jade green eyes were cloaked in black eyeshadow and matching lipstick- expertly done, as she prided herself on. _How Vain Am I? The Answer Is Unquantifiable._

Kanaya and Karkat walked over a door to 413, coined Strilonde's Occult and Assorted in white script on the black awning. Opening the door for Karkat, whose hands were full, Kanaya looked around the store and was taken aback. In the dim light, the walls were not visible under a dense layer of bookshelves. Black and white pictures of bones and people were stuck up with BluTack and tape. An assortment of strange and gruesome artifacts laid on mismatched tables laying around the shop. The place would have looked like a mashup of an evil wizard's lair and a darkroom for photo development, if there hadn't been a DJ's stand in the corner.

"Hi." A voice cut through the air suddenly, and Karkat jumped 2 feet in the air. "Um, Hi There," Kanaya replied awkwardly, trying to recover her heart rate. At the cashier's desk near the door, a striking woman in a tank top and a black skirt leaned casually against the wall (shelf). With her bobbed platinum blonde hair, violet eyes, and pouty lips, she could be a model- her eyeliner, heavily applied and stark black, already fit the French actress look.

"I'm Rose. You are?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. "I'M KARKAT VANTAS, AND SHE'S KANAYA MARYAM," Karkat gestured. "WE RUN THE GREENHOUSE NEXT DOOR." Kanaya thanked him silently- she did not think she would have said anything coherent.

"We Received One Of Your Packages Today And We Wanted To Return It," she added, finding her voice. Karkat looked sadly at his book before placing it and the box on Rose's desk.

"Thanks a million; some of those books are quite expensive," Rose smiled. "You can keep that one, you know; Drew and Holden are quite the couple," she remarked as an afterthought, addressing Karkat. He muttered his thanks and grabbed the book back, glancing at the flowers in Kanaya's hand. "AHEM." Karkat looked down at the flowers in her hand and back at her.

"Oh! Yes, These Are For You. Welcome To The Neighborhood." Kanaya held out the bouquet, not daring to look her in the face. Rose took them, brushing Kanaya's hand ever so lightly. Their eyes met, purple on green.

A loud noise disturbed the near silence, causing Rose and Kanaya to spring apart. "Hey Rose where'd you want- oh." A man nearly identical to Rose halted in the frame of the back door he'd just kicked open, carrying a bust of an extremely ugly wizard.

"This is my twin brother, Dave. He hides behind his aviators to look cool. Dave, this is Karkat and Kanaya; they run the garden shop next door." Rose set down the flowers and took the statue from his arms, placing it on the floor near her desk and patting it fondly on the head. "Dave is the reason our place is so eclectic; if he wasn't here, there would be a lot less photographs and turntables."

Dave tilted his shades up on top of his head, revealing lazily amused red eyes. "Rude. Don't listen to my lunatic sister. She's just jealous 'cause she's boring. Closest she gets to sick rhymes is shitty slam poetry," Dave explained. "You wanna hear some? Of the rhymes, not the poetry. Though you look like you might like it," he continued to Karkat.

"NO, WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR SHIT, WE LIKE OUR EARS THE WAY THEY ARE," Karkat retorted. "KANAYA CAN WE GO YET? WE OPEN SOON."

"I Am Very Sorry, He Is Not Always Like This, We Will Leave Now," Kanaya apologized profusely. _Now we can never talk to them again, ever._ However, neither Rose nor Dave looked in the least perturbed. Kanaya exited the shop, almost pushing Karkat out the door. She looked back once more to glimpse a small smile on Rose's face before the door swung shut.

"What On Earth Were You Thinking?" Kanaya asked Karkat angrily after a short walk back filled with an unpleasant silence. They were both trying to get more work done before store hours, but failing miserably. "HE WAS PISSING ME OFF. HE JUST _ASSUMED_ I LIKE SLAM POETRY-" "But You Do." "THAT'S NOT THE POINT. AND HE KICKED OPEN THE DOOR! WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT? NOT ANYONE WHO'S REMOTELY CIVIL." In the heat of his tirade, he nearly upended an entire tray of seedlings, realizing it only when Kanaya yelped.

"You Have Probably Just Ruined The Concept Of Neighborly Conduct Singlehandedly." Kanaya frowned at him, closing the laptop on which she was analyzing the store's finances

Karkat sighed and seemed to cool his temper. "LOOK, I'M SORRY I RUINED YOUR BLOSSOMING ROMANCE- YEAH IT WAS PRETTY OBVIOUS- AND I'LL APOLOGIZE THE NEXT TIME WE SEE THEM." "If There Is A Next Time," Kanaya shot back, trying to tone down her blush.

"THERE WILL BE, ALRIGHT?"


	2. Chapter 2

Rose and Dave opened shop at ten, getting to know the steady stream of customers that would soon become their clientele. Rose, however, was not fully invested in conversing with her customers.

"What did you think? Of Kanaya and Karkat, I mean." Rose called out to her brother, arranging Kanaya's flowers carefully in an urn on the table in front of her (which was already over capacity from clutter). Dave was on the other side of the shop, seeing off a woman whose portfolio headshots he had just taken.

"I'll have to get back at the shouty one sometime with some ill beats. You like the tall chick though," Dave responded, grinning (as much as his nonchalant demeanor would allow) at her. He had put his camera to his face so that the smug smirk was all she could see.

There was no point denying it, of course. Kanaya was ethereally beautiful, her dark skin gleaming in the light from the window. Her voice was low and sweet, like if honey was a sound. Maybe she was being shallow, but Rose was captivated.

"Yes, I do. What about it?" She cursed herself inwardly for forgetting how observant Dave could be at times (balanced by how often he could be painfully obtuse).

Or perhaps she was just too obvious.

Picking up the books Kanaya and Karkat had brought, Rose feigned a casual manner and turned her face away from him and his lens to shelve. There was no point having her lovestruck face immortalized in film.

"When are you gonna make a move?"

Rose whipped her head up, nearly hitting it on an overhang. She narrowed her eyes at him. "You're getting ahead of yourself. I don't even know if I'll see Kanaya again. She seemed pretty upset when she was dragging her friend out- which by the way, was your fault."

"So go to her. No harm in that," Dave reasoned. "And why is it my fault that he doesn't dig my rhymes?"

"Yes, just walk into a flower shop casually and without any intention of buying anything, as the owners fully well know from the state of my lifestyle here," Rose deadpanned. "An ideal plan."

"She's not supposed to think you want to buy shit, genius."

She slammed a book into the shelf with undue force, and Dave plowed on.

"Then you talk to her. Ask her about flowers and stuff. Take her out to get shitfaced and have wild, passionate sex against the wall of an alley."

Rose made a disgusted face.

"Sure, that strategy might work for a coolkid like you, but the rest of us ordinary people have to actually work at a relationship before we even hold hands in public," Rose arched an eyebrow at him.

Dave flipped her a retaliatory bird for the jab.

"Why are you instructing me on how to build a relationship anyway? You've had several failed ones, as I recall," Rose snapped, and then immediately regretted it. Past relationships were off-limits.

He put his hands on his hips, letting his camera dangle on his neck by the strap. His cheeks were stained with the hazy red of anger, nearly the same shade as his eyes. "That was way below the fucking belt and you know it."

Rose opened her mouth to answer indignantly, and quickly shut it as the shop's door opened.

A woman in a form fitting jumpsuit with impossibly long, wavy hair strode in on tall pink heels, looking around with a proprietary air. Rose and Dave were frozen in the positions they had been arguing in, slightly unnerved by her aura. She locked eyes with each of the siblings in turn, so clearly at odds, and smiled so that her serrated teeth were on display.

"Hello, my name is Meenah Peixes, CEO of CrockerCorp; I have come to strike a bargain."


	3. Chapter 3

"This Is Considerably Bad."

"WHAT?" Karkat answered, coming over to the window where Kanaya was peering out.

She turned to him with an expression he'd seldom seen on Kanaya's face: fear. "She Is Here," she stated shakily.

"WH- OH. HOLY SHIT, WHY?" Karkat pressed his pale face against the window, seeing nothing.

"The Condesce Went Into Rose And Dave's. She's Probably Going To Extort Them."

"LIKE US. GOD FUCKING DAMNIT, WE SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING."

"We Could Have Warned Them, Karkat," gasped Kanaya. She put her hands to her face.

They stood hugging the window for several minutes, looking for any sign of conflict. "SHE'S OUT. WAIT. IS SHE COMING HERE?" Karkat's loud voice rose an octave.

Indeed, Meenah Peixes was exiting Strilonde's and walking towards Kanaya's store with an air of triumph.

Karkat and Kanaya met each other's panicked eyes for a brief second before dashing from the window and attempting to act casually. Of course, neither was successful- Kanaya was at her desk, staring at the blank screen of her laptop, and Karkat was, unfortunately, trying to help a customer.

"NO, YOU DUMB FU- FOOL. WHAT PUMPKIN? WE DON'T SELL PUMPKINS HERE."

The bewildered customer in question, a long haired girl in round glasses trailed by a large white dog, realized that there was no use trying to talk to Karkat. "Er, okay. I'll just... go now."

She backed out of the store nervously, holding the door open for another guest on her way out.

Guest being a mild term.

The Condesce strutted in, looking about as if she owned the place; and the matter of the fact was, she did.

Kanaya leapt up from her seat, slamming the lid on the laptop. "Ms. Peixes. H-hi. Um, How Are You?" Kanaya stuttered out. Her sharp canines tugged at her lip, smudging her dark lipstick.

"I, am wonderful, darling Kanaya. Can you say the same?" The Condesce's voice was low and gravelly, like she had been breathing saltwater all her life. She studied them both with baleful fuschia eyes.

Kanaya, luckily (or unluckily) was spared the effort of making up an acceptable response by Karkat.

"IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANT?" This he attempted to say in a low voice, seeing as there were still customers in the store. However, as his normal volume far exceeded anyone else's, it sounded more like he was talking at a regular level.

"How rude. I only wanted to check up on how y'all were doing with my new... regulations."

"YOU MEAN YOUR NEW TAXES. YEAH, WE'RE JUST FUCKING PEACHY." He punctuated this with a series of wild hand gestures that looked vaguely obscene.

"Karkat," Kanaya cut him a sharp look, silencing him.

"Good. I just visited our new neighbors. They seem to be quite enthusiastic about the rules."

Both Karkat and Kanaya looked at her with expressions of abject horror.

"You Cannot Mean-"

"I see you disagree with their recruitment. Disagreement gets you nowhere, y'know. Except for my bad side, and you've seen that." The Condesce laughed throatily. Kanaya stepped back from her indignant stance.

"Anyway, I think we'll be observing a 5% increase to your monthly payment?" she asked, and then without waiting for an answer: "Great. Bye!"

The Condesce left as quickly as she came, and the customers who didn't know they had been holding their breath released it. However, Karkat and Kanaya were far from relieved.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. WHY CAN'T WE SUE THAT BITCH?" Karkat asked, incensed. He punched the wall, only succeeding in splitting several knuckles. He cursed and cradled his hand.

"Remember That She Knows, Karkat." Kanaya, recovering quickly, logged into her online ledger, calculating the toll of the Condesce's tax increases; her green lacquered nails tapped anxiously. She sighed. The payroll would be greatly diminished.

"IS IT REALLY WORTH IT THOUGH?"

Kanaya lifted her head slowly to look at him. Quietly, she said: "Our Parents Were Radical Revolutionaries. They Are Wanted Criminals, Karkat. Would You Really Let Peixes Get Them Arrested?"

Karkat's father was a leader of a rights movement that had fought against the Condesce's syndicate. He had killed a higher-up in the organization. Kanaya's mother was an accomplice. They had both been on the run for years- they had left Kanaya and Karkat behind to keep them out of the conflict.

Karkat's face flushed. "I DIDN'T MEAN- I- I WOULDN'T. I'M SORRY." Abashed, he ran his unbloodied hand through his wild black hair fretfully.

Kanaya's gaze softened.

"Let's Just Make Sure To Pay."


	4. Chapter 4

It was a Wednesday when Rose decided it was time to approach Kanaya. Not, however, to flirt.

"This lady, Peixes- she's got the entire town under her thumb. I'm willing to bet that includes the flower shop kids. They'll know what the fuck the situation is, we have to talk to them."

After the incident with Her Imperial Condescension- as Ms. Peixes unironically had her underlings call her- the bickering between Rose and Dave had quickly been pushed aside.

Rose blinked at her phone for a couple seconds, still lamenting the sizeable chunk of profit that they'd lost in the "deal."

Dave was right- Kanaya and Karkat would know about this. But why hadn't they told them about the Condesce before she came? A little warning would have been nice.

"Let's go, then."

And that was how the two of them had found themselves in the greenhouse on Wednesday afternoon, jostled by a queue (rather, a barely contained sea) of patrons.

"What's all this bullshit?" Dave asked after being pushed aside by a hassled-looking parent with two small, rowdy children. Someone laughed (screamed?) in the distance. Rose immediately regretted coming.

"WATCH THE FUCKING LANGUAGE, DAVE. THERE ARE SMALL EARS." Karkat emerged from the crowd, looking as, if not more harried than the customers. He had several terracotta pots stacked under each of his arms, and colorful paint smeared on his face and clothing. "IT'S A WORKSHOP DAY- PEOPLE COME IN FOR GARDENING ADVICE, CRAFTS FOR THE KIDS, WHATEVER. IT'S TO BOOST SALES," he explained, pulling a face.

"Yeah that's not why we're here. Why the fuck didn't you tell us about 'Her Imperial Condescension?'" Dave surrounded the Condesce's ridiculous title with air quotes. Karkat paled, but didn't look surprised.

"I THINK YOU'D BETTER TALK TO KANAYA."

Karkat abandoned his cargo and turned around, weaving through the crowd to the back of the store, Rose and Dave in tow.

"… And That, Children, Is How You Make A Seed Bomb. Feel Free To Try Doing This At Home With A Guardian." Kanaya was sitting cross-legged amongst a gaggle of kids, teaching not in a classroom, but on a carpet of newspaper and plant seed. She was quite obviously in her element. A pity we are going to ruin her day, thought Rose. Kanaya looked up, noticing the new arrivals.

"Um, Kanaya. May we talk to you? Alone?" Rose blushed as her mind scrolled rapidly through all of the implications that statement had. Kanaya, like Karkat, was not shocked at Rose and Dave's appearance; rather, she was saddened. "Of Course. Karkat, Can You Take My Place While I'm Gone?"

Karkat nodded curtly, unenthusiastic about babysitting. "Rose, I'm gonna stay here while y'all talk. I'm learning how to make a bomb."

"SEED BOMB."

"Sure."

Rose narrowed her eyes at her brother, whose outdated sunglasses concealed a sloppily executed wink.

"Let's Go To The Storeroom," Kanaya suggested.

The storeroom, which was just a crowded closet that smelled distinctly of manure, had a single lightbulb to illuminate it. Kanaya fumbled around in the dark for a minute before locating the chain to switch it on.

"Okay, We Are Alone. What Do You Want To Know?" Kanaya's green eyes reflected the dim light, despondent. Rose was reluctant to be so harsh in her questioning, especially to Kanaya, but- for the sake of her business, her survival- she had to know.

"Everything. But first- who exactly is the Condesce?"

"Her Imperial Condescension- Known Colloquially As The Condesce- Is The Boss Of The Local Crime Syndicate. Anything Of Significance Around Here, From Business To Personal Affairs, She Has A Hand In It. She Knows Everything About Everyone, And Isn't Afraid To Exploit It," Kanaya sighed. "Quoted Verbatim From Her Business Card."

"Does that include you?" Rose couldn't stop herself from asking. Her companion's eyes wandered, meeting anything but Rose's eyes. "Er, Yes. And Karkat. That's Why She's So… Invested In My Business." Kanaya's guarded face told her not to ask what it was Her Imperial Condescension knew, despite her overwhelming curiosity.

"And that's what she does to everyone? Blackmails them so she gets a prime cut of their profits?"

"Yes, Essentially. I Assume She Has Leverage Against You And Dave As Well- Unless She just Threatened You With Her Bodyguards," Kanaya replied, casting an analytical eye over Rose's visage.

Rose took a step back. Kanaya really was quite astute- but she wasn't quite ready to bare the contents of her soul yet. "To an extent. But don't her activities alert the authorities? They're the exact opposite of legal- she should be behind bars several times over."

"She's Very Meticulous About Covering Her Tracks. It's Always Plain That She's Behind The Scams, But There Is No Clear-Cut Evidence To Prove It Is Her," Kanaya seethed, running a hand through her already thoroughly-raked hair.

"Innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt," Rose mused. Her mind raced, assessing the situation- there was only one thing they could do. Rose burst out of the storeroom, a bewildered Kanaya in her wake. Dave and Karkat looked up from where they knelt on the floor, making less headway in their craft than some of the toddlers. They were tossing grass seed down each others' shirts when they thought the other wasn't looking.

"Dave, let's go. I need to make a phone call. Kanaya, Karkat- meet us at the café across the street on Friday." Rose promptly walked Dave, who was shedding seed, out of the shop.

Kanaya and Karkat stared after them, profoundly confused.

"What Have We Done?"


	5. Chapter 5

It was Friday afternoon, and the cafe was dead empty- though not for long. Karkat barged in soon enough, with Kanaya walking calmly behind. She was markedly not calm, however. What did Rose have planned? Whatever it was, it probably wasn't good. "BIG SURPRISE. THEY AREN'T HERE," Karkat remarked, causing the barista behind the counter to look up in alarm from his phone.

"Yo." Dave sauntered into the shop with Rose. His lips curved in a slight smile at Karkat, obviously saying "You doubted me?" Karkat scowled deeply. Rose's eyes illuminated (or was it her imagination?) when they landed on Kanaya, and she felt her face heat up.

"Hi, Dave! Hey, Rose," the barista chirped, beaming crookedly; his tousled brown hair nearly concealed blue eyes framed by thick glasses.

"'Sup, John?" Dave replied to the greeting with an inflection Kanaya nor Karkat had heard from him before- sincerity? Rose waved at John. "HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU KNOW HALF THE PEOPLE IN TOWN IF YOU JUST GOT HERE? WE DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM!" Karkat burst out in disbelief. "Do you really think we'd move to a place where we knew absolutely no one?" Rose answered. Kanaya could tell she didn't want to waste anymore time. Her eyes glinted with excitement.

"Alright, so we're all almost here, " she announced, leading the group over to sit at a large circular table in the center of the room. Rose and Dave sat on one side, and Kanaya and Karkat on the other. Kanaya was acutely aware that Rose was sitting directly across from her. Looking her in the face was like looking into the sun. "We're just waiting on-"

The shop door opened again, and a short, curvy girl in red tinted glasses walked in, a dragon-headed cane in her left hand tapping against the ground.

"Terezi?" Kanaya asked. "Who else would it be?" Terezi replied, her signature manic grin spreading across her face. Rapping her cane against the counter, she addressed John: "Egbert, get me a coffee that isn't shit. That might be past your capabilities, but I have faith in you."

John muttered his assent and rolled his eyes at Terezi, getting to work on her drink. He looked like he'd had to deal with this too many times before. Poor guy. Terezi sat down on the other side of Karkat (Kanaya was sitting on his left).

"Terezi's here to help us prosecute the Condesce," Rose explained. "She's probably the best lawyer in the country."

"HA. DON'T INFLATE HER EGO," Karkat retorted, only to get a friendly shove off his chair from Terezi. Picking himself up from the floor, Karkat asked, "HOW DO YOU PLAN TO GET PAST THE COUNTLESS DEFENSES THE CONDESCE HAS AGAINST THE LAW?"

"He Has A Point. Her Imperial Condescension Is Nearly Immune To Repercussions At This Point." Kanaya sighed. They had been trying for years, but the witch was safe. Blackmail was as effective as an extortion mechanism as a gag.

Terezi broke in. "Not entirely true. You could record her when she comes in. She isn't exactly quiet. And there's other ways. But that's not what this is about, is it?" She crossed her arms, eyes narrowing behind useless cherry-red lenses.

Dave and Rose exchanged meaningful glances. They looked almost… worried.

"KANAYA AND I… THE REASON THE CONDESCE HAS US PINNED IS BECAUSE SHE'S GOT INFORMATION WE'D LIKE NOT TO GO PUBLIC. IF WE TURN HER IN, SHE WON'T HESITATE TO TURN US OVER TO THE COPS," Karkat admitted, and when given curious looks by the twins, hurriedly added: "IT'S NOT ANYTHING WE OURSELVES HAVE DONE."

"Dear Condy has done something similar to us as well- except maybe not as pertinent to the law as your situation is," Rose explained of her and Dave. She had sensed the need for secrecy and changed the subject; Kanaya thanked her under her breath.

John began walking over to the table and Terezi stuck her hand out for it before he could set it down. He handed it to her with a sigh and she downed half in a single gulp, slamming the drink down on the table angrily. Dave let out a low whistle of admiration.

"You know, you could have fucking told me about this beforehand, Rose. You too Kanaya," Terezi seethed.

"Well, What Would Have Been The Point?"

"STRATEGY! Strategy is everything. I could have incorporated this into planning last night but now everything has to be redone because YOU'RE NOT WILLING TO TURN HER IN." Terezi started pacing, tapping her cane against the tiles more forcefully than necessary.

The room was silent for a moment, everyone pondering the futility of the circumstances.

Finally John piped up. "Could you sort of… neutralize the information she has? Make it less useful for her against you?" Terezi cocked her head, intrigued. "You may have actually had a good idea, John," she conceded. He gave her a dirty look- and though she couldn't actually see it, she flipped him the bird.

"It's not a bad idea, man, but in our case? I dunno," Dave replied, lifting his shades and rubbing at his eyes tiredly. "AND WE CAN'T JUST FUCKING CHANGE THE LAW, EGBERT." Karkat astutely reasoned. Kanaya put her head in her hands. Make their parents' whereabouts less relevant? That wouldn't happen unless-

"Terezi, I Think We All Need To Think. Let's Reconvene Here Next Week." Giving a small wave to Rose and Dave, Kanaya hooked her arm through Karkat's and led him out, sputtering. The sun was fast setting, and they had things to discuss.


	6. Chapter 6

"Dave?"

"Yeah?"

"Was I right? I mean, to consider trying?"

It was evening, and they had left the coffee shop not long after Kanaya and Karkat had, retreating to their apartment above the bookstore. Rose was sitting on the floor of the living room with a mug of tea cradled in both hands, pensive. Dave, in the tiny kitchen off the living room, was bent over, poking through the fridge. Upon hearing the question, he tried to stand up and hit his head on the freezer. "Shit!"

"Is that your answer?"

"No, and thanks for the sympathy. As for trying... It's going to be pretty dangerous. Seeing as, y'know, she runs a fuckin' Mafia." He walked over to where she was sitting, rubbing the top of his head. "Karkat and Kanaya have obviously tried before, but 'Her Imperious Condescenion' has dirt on them that's just as bad."

Kanaya and Karkat were quite worried in the cafe. What in the world is so important to them that they've practically relinquished their autonomy? The Condesce's taxes severely limited what their two neighbors could do in their day to day lives. They barely had enough to feed and clothe themselves, from what Rose could glean from their behavior. It probably wasn't anything so... delicate as their own situation, but maybe... legal? Fight fire with fire, I guess. It's probably not the best idea to go to the law when you're running from it, though. If they were willing to take the Condesce to court, Kanaya and Karkat weren't criminals. Or at least she hoped- it'd suck to have her new potential girlfriend be convicted of serial killing. Or tax evasion.

"But you didn't try to stop me." Rose regarded him with tired eyes, meeting his. "What, and ruin your passionate relationship with Kanaya by proxy? Nah," he joked, though his heart obviously wasn't in it. She grimaced. "There is no relationship, idiot. And be serious, for once." Dave's faint white eyebrows furrowed in agitation; he was more worried than he let on.

"If you didn't notice, I was agreeing with everything you said. We need to do something. Stop doubting yourself- or us. Never leads anywhere good," he replied, crouching down to sit across from Rose. She stared down into the now-lukewarm brown depths of her mug, studying her reflection. Rose looked so much younger, so much more tired, with a face clean of makeup. And on the floor, sitting criss-cross applesauce in their pajamas, they both felt like children again. Unfortunately, it wasn't just their appearance that was reminiscent of childhood- they were both skirting the issue.

"Mom and Bro," Dave began. Rose averted her eyes, and immediately felt like a coward. She knew that however hard this was for her, for Dave it would be exponentially worse. Mom was a negligent alcoholic, but Bro was... unspeakable. Yet he was the one ripping off the bandaid. I've underestimated him, Rose thought. "If we take Condy to court, they'll know we're here. She'll have them informed within the hour."

And then they'd be here. God, she couldn't recall how many times she ran away, only to have her mother confront her at wherever she was, wasted and teary. She'd beg Rose to come back, stumbling over half-formed pleas and the last five martinis. A few minutes of that, and Rose would be back home just like that, reassuring her mother and feeling like crap. Manipulative bitch.

"You don't think I know? The store wasn't what I had in mind at the cafe when we were talking risk assessment," Rose remarked sharply, attempting to dispel the angry tears that sprang to her eyes by staring intensely into the lamplight. "We might be adults, but that doesn't mean seeing them again won't be awful."

"Yeah, it'll be a shitshow. But least this time we can call the cops." His voice was muffled, as Dave had put his head in his hands. His words were meant to be reassuring, but his body language spoke to the years of pain they'd be unearthing.

"Hey." She softened her voice, opening her arms to him. He moved forward and they clung to each other, as if trying to keep afloat in rough waters. Of course, humans aren't particularly good at being life preservers. Rose could feel the ridged scars that striped his back under his thin t-shirt, the ones he tried desperately to hide. Seeing Bro again would be like carving each of them open again slowly with a rusty switchblade. She didn't know if he'd be able to handle it.

"Restraining orders are always an option, you know."

Dave looked up, shocked by the proposal. "Really?"

"Our case certainly warrants it."

Dave was silent for a while, mulling over the prospect. "I... guess. If it has to come to that. Are you sure you still want to take on the Condesce?" He peered at her, his anxious gaze clear without his shades.

"Only if you want to." Neither of them would do anything without the other's explicit consent- they were a team. The two of them looked at each other, weighing the daunting consequences.

"Then we're doing this."


	7. Chapter 7

"THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK," Karkat said flatly. He kicked at a pebble on the sidewalk with the toe of his beat up sneaker, studying as it skittered across the pavement into a crack.

Kanaya had been trying to get him to agree for the past week, and still Karkat refused to face the Condesce in court. Even as they walked to the cafe.

"If You Really Believed That, You Would Be At Home." He flushed indignantly at this.

"I WANT THIS TO SUCCEED JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DO, KANAYA, BELIEVE ME."

"But You Think It Won't."

"I'M BEING REALISTIC. THE CONDESCE IS A RUTHLESS BITCH. THE SLIGHTEST WHIFF OF RESISTANCE AND SHE'LL HAVE OUR SECRETS OUT IN THE WORLD AND BULLETS IN OUR PATHETIC FUCKING BRAINS. THIS ISN'T A WHIFF, THIS IS A MOTHERFUCKING YANKEE CANDLE STORE."

Kanaya turned on her heel to look at Karkat head-on.

"So Go Home, Then. Save Your Ass. We Can Do This Without You." Kanaya's voice was chilly. It broke her heart to act so awful to him, but she had to pull out all the stops. She needed him to do this. For both their sakes.

Several pedestrians glanced at them curiously as they passed. The pair of them shot twin glares back at the passerby, sending them on their way.

He growled in aggravation. "WILL YOU JUST LOOK AT THE RISKS? OUR PARENTS WOULD GET DECADES IN PRISON. WE'D BE DEAD, OR WORSE. NOT TO MENTION DAVE AND ROSE," he said through gritted teeth.

"Will You Look? What do we get if we do nothing? A Life Of Servitude? Never Seeing Our Parents Again? The Guilt Of Seeing All the Other People She's Conned Live Like This, Knowing We Could Have Done Something? If We Win, Our Parents Walk Free! Everyone will."

"THIS ISN'T A SUPERHERO COMIC. WE CAN'T RISK OUR LIVES BECAUSE OF YOUR FLIMSY OPTIMISM."

So You'd Let The Condesce Continue With Her Tyranny? Let Her Rule Our Lives, Having Us Hang On Her Every Word Lest She 'Let Something Slip'? Subject Countless Others, Perhaps This Whole Town, To The Same Fate? I Never Thought You'd Submit To Her So Easily," Kanaya hissed. She really was angry at him now, completely disregarding her 'cool-and-collected' strategy.

Karkat looked away, avoiding the intensity of her accusatory stare. He remained silent for a few long seconds, ending it with a heaving sigh.

"FINE. I'LL DO IT." Kanaya smiled gratefully at him, relieved. There was no way this would work without him.

"BUT WE HAVE TO PREPARE FOR THE CONSEQUENCES. WARN OUR PARENTS, TELL THEM TO RUN. MAKE PLANS FOR US TO MOVE OUT QUICKLY."

Their parents would scramble out of their current woodland hideout in Whereverthefuck, Nowhereland, bags already packed since the day they'd got there. They'd jump to a new shelter, this one intended to be better hidden. But it wouldn't be, just by virtue of law enforcement's newfound awareness- courtesy of Her Imperious Condescension herself. Perhaps when their plan failed, Karkat and Kanaya would rendezvous with them somewhere. Two outlaws becoming four.

"And Then We Run Away For The Rest of Our Lives?" She couldn't deny that he was right in plotting escape, but it was a temporary solution. There wasn't even the slimmest chance that running would work. Condy had eyes everywhere.

"Karkat, This Has To Work," she continued. "We Succeed, Or We Die."

"GEE, NOW THE PLAN DOESN'T SOUND SO GOOD DOES IT? WHATEVER. I'VE JUST COMMITTED MYSELF, THERE'S NO BACKING OUT."

The both of them lapsed back into uneasy silence, walking once more. Karkat was being horrifyingly pessimistic, but at least he'd participate. However, that didn't change the fact that the both of them had misgivings about the functionality of their rebellion.

The Condesce had an undeniable advantage over them, with blackmail, bribe money, and influence. They had the element of surprise, but even that was dubious at this point, with all her surveillance.

The only other thing on their side- Terezi.

A brilliant, fast-paced, manipulative mind, Terezi had passed the bar examination at the tender age of 18 and gone on to be one of the best lawyers in the state, possibly the country. She was absolutely ruthless in the courtroom, tearing her opponents apart argument by argument.

If she couldn't win their case, no one could.

Of course, Terezi wouldn't be able to do it on her own. They needed solid evidence, witnesses brave enough to testify against HIC. They needed luck, despite how many times Terezi insisted it didn't exist. And they needed to work together.

"Karkat?"

"YEAH?"

"I'm... Sorry. I Was Pressuring You Too Hard. I Know It's Hard To Willingly Endanger Our Parents Like This." Kanaya bowed her head slightly towards him, apologetic.

His features softened slightly in recognition of her statement. "IT'S FINE. GOING TO COURT IS NECESSARY. WE'VE WAITED TOO LONG FOR THIS ANYWAY," he conceded.

They were outside the cafe now, and could see the figures of their co-conspirators through the window.

"I Guess We're Done Waiting Now," Kanaya replied, pushing open the door of the cafe with a chime of the bell overhead.


End file.
